Knowing your worth can be difficult, especially if you have no idea where to start. So, how do you know your worth? And what are some reasons why you might have low self-worth in the first place?
I asked Reka Robinson, Life Coach aka the Single Girls Life Coach, and founder of Single You Academy, to answer some questions I had about self-worth. Here is what Reka wrote to me:
1. What does self-worth mean to you, and what is your relationship with it?
My clients in Single You Academy learn my philosophy of self-worth. Knowing who you are and not settling for anything less than what you deserve. Knowing that you get to decide your worth and no one else. I have a very healthy relationship with knowing my worth. I’m getting better and better in all areas where I need to know my worth. Especially in the areas of boundaries, dating, and work.
2. Is there a difference between self-esteem and self-worth?
Yes. Knowing your self-worth is shown through your actions. You can’t simply say “I know my worth” and then allow people to treat you poorly. You are your behavior, what you say doesn’t matter if it isn’t backed up with actions. Your self-esteem comes from your actions, by doing what it is you say you want to do. If you don’t want people to treat you poorly, then you have to set boundaries and control the controllables. You also have to get good at setting boundaries for yourself.
3. What are the symptoms of low self-worth, and what are some reasons people can have one?
The symptoms = allowing people to treat you like crap. Being a people pleaser. Not knowing how to say no.
The reason for this is you don’t trust yourself. You want to be liked more than respected. You have no idea how to set boundaries.
4. What are some mistakes people make when communicating with someone who has low self-worth?
The mistake is not knowing that your ‘friend’ has low self-worth. When you speak to them your intention isn’t to uplift them.
5. What do you think is the number one thing stopping people from being more self-confident, and how to overcome/fight it?
They don’t have the knowledge and don’t understand who they actually are. You aren’t doing things that you actually want to do. You overcome low self-confidence by actually figuring out who you are, what you want and have your actions match that.
6. What tools would you recommend for people who want to learn more about self-worth?
They are many but I’ll give 3 tools:
Reading. i.e. The 4 Agreements
Hiring a coach. i.e. joining Single You Academy Single You Academy is a 12 week program for women. Inside of SYA, you will learn how to stop tying your identity and worth to men. You will learn the differences between healthy vs. unhealthy relationships. You will transform from a woman trying to prove her worth to be loved by a man, into a woman who finally knows her worth, who you are, what you want and knows how to say no.
As a certified Life Coach aka the Single Girls Life Coach, Reka is here to help you discover your worth. So that you can stop tying your identity to men and stop being a man pleaser. She is the host of Single You the Podcast and the founder of Single You Academy, an online community and resource for women.
Reka was named Woman of Distinction by the Girl Scouts of Eastern WA and Northern Idaho as well as; top 10 Female Life Coach of 2020 by Yahoo! Finance. She is highlighted because of the work that she’s doing to empower women.
The inspiration and work that Reka is doing in Single You Academy with women, can be summed up by a client of hers…
“I’ve been slowly catching up with the videos, and halfway through Relational Intelligence and using the info in my daily life. Joining your group was one of my best 2020 investments. Single You Academy has been extremely helpful with just having the information and now the understanding. We don’t know how to date. We don’t know about relationships. I have a 20-year-old daughter and I’m just constantly quoting things from Single You to her. So the generational curse that was put on me as far as what I saw my parents do and thought “it was okay”, she’s going to be in a better place. We’re already starting to talk about intentional dating. Like there’s no time for what I did. I dated stupid and I didn’t even know it was stupid.”
Reka can be reached via IG, Twitter & Clubhouse as @justmeReka or by email via Reka@justmeReka.com
About the interviewer
My name is Jeff Monnery, a videographer and documentarian whose mission is to ensure people are given the choice to make positive changes toward self-empowerment. I am the founder of Spoken Out Stories, a video series about stories of people who lived a hard experience in their life, and found their way to move forward with courage, determination, and optimism.
You can connect with me through my social media pages:
Instagram — @jeffmonnery
Twitter — @jeffmonnery
Facebook — @JeffMonnery
LinkedIn — @jeffmonnery
About An Unlearning Initiative
An Unlearning Initiative is an interview series of people sharing the experience and expertise on various topics around mental health, self-empowerment, empathy, and love.
It is about giving others diverse perspectives from around the World to help unlearn misconceptions and enlighten people toward a better understanding of what is around them.
You can connect with An Unlearning Initiative through these social media pages:
Instagram — @anunlearninginitiative
Twitter — @AnUnlearning
Facebook — @anunlearninginitiative